|Running to catch a plane|
In jest, I prepared a list of contrasts and similarities between the “Frequent Marathon Runner” (aka Maniac) on the one hand, and the “Frequent Airplane Flyer” on the other.
20. Maniacs look to collect stars, flyers gaze out airplane windows at stars.
19. Both want strive to attain a precious metal or alloy level of status. Maniacs climb up the ladder of precious metals beginning with bronze and ending with titanium. Flyers also want the precious climb from silver to gold to platinum, and eventually to diamond.
18. Neither likes running to catch a plane
17. Both are concerned about delays or cancellations due to weather
16. Both worry about the person in front of them coming into their space
15. Neither likes their neighbor’s elbows.
14. Both want to soar, both want to take flight.
13. One wants priority boarding, the other wants priority staging
12. Flyers want upgrades, runners run up grades
11. Both get excited for take-off
10. The frequent flyer looks forward to drinks during the flight, the runner looks forward to drinks after the race.
9. Runners run hoping to “place,” flyers travel to go “places”
8. Both speak of “Mileage Runs” (though they mean entirely different things)
7. The airplane lavatories and the porta-johns are similar in so many ways (except no one wants to “do it” in a marathon port-a-potty).
6. No one likes being at the very back.
5. The runner takes off his shoes after the run, the flyer takes off his shoes during the flight
4. Both walk kind of funny after hours of flying or running.
3. Maniacs travel in packs, flyers pack to travel
2. Maniacs do “doubles” (meaning 2 marathons in 2 days), frequent flyers do “Dos”
and….. last …….. drumroll please……
1. Two words: Fuel Dumps.