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Lesson Learned: Turn off iPhone notifications and for God’s sake don’t operate heavy machinery when running a marathon, especially when its raining cats and dogs (and monkeys!).
Background: I was running the infamous Flying Monkey Marathon (a race where, when you sign up, the race director, Trent Rosenbloom gives you his condolences). The marathon is run in Percy Warner Park, among Tennessee’s Harpeth Hills. I was warned of the crazy hills – the elevation chart looks more like an EKG than a marathon course:
And I was repeatedly told to “fear the monkey,” that running is “stupid,” that you have to be an “idiot” to run the monkey, etc. But this was all said with monkey love, even as the dreadful day approached and the storm forecast became more and more ominous.
The hills were stupid, the rain insane, but the scenery and the people were divine!
Enter iPhone 6. Yup, I bought when it first came out. Unfortunately, a good sport armband for this new model hasn’t been designed yet.
You Can’t Leave Your iPhone at home, Can you, Kat? I had my iPhone wrapped in a ziplock bag as the rain that was predicted was coming down on and off in sheets. I mainly kept it beneath my rain jacket – fearful of ruining it in the rain, but at one point between downpours, I took it out to check on the music or something. Through the plastic wrap I could see a pop-up notification from Groupon, but I had no idea what item was being advertised. I didn’t have the patience to look at it closely or take out my glasses to read it, so, I just hit the “close” button on the message. Or at least I thought I had.
Congratulations on your brand new Groupon: A moment later a big new message comes up from Groupon congratulating me on my new Groupon purchase. Oh sh!t – what the hell had I just bought? A nail fungal product? some pole-dancing classes? Who knew – but I didn’t have the patience to stop and find out the answer at that time.
Fast forward: I survived the monkey, though barely. Drenched and hill stricken, I finished that
puppy monkey (or did the monkey finish me?), and Diane and I stopped off on the way back to her home at a local Starbucks in Brentwood (Tennessee) (oh sweet Starbucks, I dreamed of you for the 6 hours I was running and walking and sloshing uphill ….)
Is the suspense killing you? Don’t you want to know what I bought? I then took out my phone and checked Groupon. The mystery purchase was revealed. I’d bought a Herstyler Smoothing Argan-Oil System for $49!
Herstyler Smoothing Argan-Oil System
With just a light spritz or a deep, soaking mask, Herstyler’s argan-oil formulas help restore luster and body to dry or damaged hair. The vitamin E–infused products foster healthy, touchable locks and prevent future damage. The ceramic flat iron and curling iron use frizz-reducing negative ions and far-infrared heat technology to style hair gently and seal in the restorative effects of argan oil.
Argan oil infused with vitamin E
Helps repair damaged, overprocessed, or crazy Muppet hair
1.25” floating ceramic flat iron plates
25mm–18mm clipless curling-iron barrel
Flat iron and curler heat to 465 degrees Fahrenheit
I don’t care if this was worth $400, as advertised, I didn’t really want it.
Hello, I’d like to cancel an order….: I called Groupon and the rep, Denise, was as nice as can be. She laughed at my story. But then informed me that it was too late – the order was already processed – there was nothing she could do. I was in disbelief and said something to the effect that it has to be reversed. She put me on hold and eventually returned and said that she’d send me a label for a free return for me to send the Herstyler back when I receive it. This is not ideal, as I will be charged and then refunded, but it was the best they could do.
Final words: (1) My iPhone survived, (2) I didn’t, (3) I think I am going to check my phone settings and turn off many of the notifications. Additionally, if you like the Groupon Argan-Oil Stuff – let me know – I have a referral link!
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